he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
