you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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