I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
