Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Acid is not a monday night drug
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
