Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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