I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
