tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Randomize
