Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
