remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Randomize
