We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
