apparently the secret to your success is patron
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Randomize
