Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
