So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
