She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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