My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Randomize
