dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
