How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
