google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
