Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
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