Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize