it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I have already put on my inside pants.
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