Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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