through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
