That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize