bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
