where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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