i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
