bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
