Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
