Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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