I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Little spoons don't ask big questions
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
