Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
The best revenge is premature balding
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
