i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
