Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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