so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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