it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
