I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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