Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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