I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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