My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
