Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
