Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
