But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
