and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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