i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
