are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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