I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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