does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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