she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
