Small penises have feelings too.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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