I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
