I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I FOUND THE LEGS
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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