I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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