I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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