i just google imaged poop.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
