Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Randomize
