I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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