We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
