and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
