Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
