the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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