Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
