I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
