im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
