If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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