Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
