I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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